Quite a hug

A disciplinary hearing examiner ruled today that public defender Theresa Olson should be suspended for her "hug gone bad." What's this? How bad was this hug?

That depends on who you talk to.

The Seattle Times reports Olson "testified that Burns had come up behind her as she was preparing to leave and given her a hug." Burns was her client, on trial for murder. The setting was a federal lockdown somewhere.

To the felon I say: "The old hug-from-behind trick, classy."

Her lack of resistance was inappropriate, she admits, but emphasized that it was just a hug.

Four guards, who apparently watched this hug for several hot minutes, tell a different tale however:

"Correction officers Leander Glenn and Dexter Pasco said they saw Olson bent over a table with one arm propped against the wall and Burns was standing behind her with his hands on her hips."

Olson admitted to having developed feelings for the convicted triple-murderer she represented, but said "those feelings had been discussed and dismissed."

The discussion, anonymous sources say, included questions such as: Do you like that?, Huh? and Do you?

After the brief Q and A period--which Burns said took 15 minutes, but Olsen estimated at around four--Olson addressed the charge of "leaving me all hot and bothered." She reportedly screamed, "case dismissed," just before guards separated the pair.

And thus she lost her ability to practice law in Washington State. But what has she gained?

That is, besides an encyclopedic set of venereal diseases from the passionate, unprotected hug of a murderer.

Never one to rest on her laurels, Olson is using the time away from the courtroom to pursue a different passion--a passion for fashion. Examples of her work--complete with patterns and fabric--can be seen at www.purrfection.com, where she focuses on sleepwear. In this striking bedtime look we see some of the signature vivacity and shamelessness that typifies both her courtroom bravado and her cell-block tantrics.

The controversy will undoubtedly help improve sales of her sleepwear line's patterns and fabric. Critics are uncertain, however, whether the hubbub will have any affect on her stunning inability to design something that's not ugly.

Celebrities are staying very tight-lipped about the controversy.

When asked to comment, neither <-- Molly Ringwald nor Sideshow Bob --> had anything to say.

Only time will reveal just what that means.

"It was a hug gone bad," her attorney said. "She regrets it."